Days of our Kate

“Hates the sound that goodbyes make.
She prays one day she’ll find someone to need her.”

“And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster,
And she just needs someone to take her home.”

Artist: Jon Mclaughlin

Song: Beautiful Disaster

So todays lyrics are from my myspace song. This was a song that I happened to stumble across in the recent weeks. A free download from iTunes awhile back. These lyrics bring to light me it the rawest sense. I am a need to be needed person and I hate not having a special someone that I can give myself to and do all the little things in life that make us feel loves. This is a great song for all the girls/young women out there wishing for the perfect guy and life to fall into place. I know that one day we will all find that guy, but until then keep wishing and smiling you never know who’s watching. Take a listen and enjoy the song!

Beautiful Disaster

Ok so I know that everyone has been antsy to see pictures of the condo. Well here they are finally. To go with the photos here is a brief update too. I had the inspection last week and all check out well. With the long weekend nothing to major happened, but today I talked with my Realtor, mortgage guy, and insurance guy. So all is in line and now the wait begins…oh and packing too. I should be signing two weeks from today and be in possession on Friday the 19th. I am so excited and can’t wait to get moved in. I will keep you all updated and for those of you who are close I will try to plan a house warming party for everyone to come check it out.

“And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in”

Artist: Matt Nathanson

Song: Come on Get Higher

This has been my song for the past few weeks. That one song that just pauses life as you know it and for about three minutes lets you forget what’s really going on. This particular lyric is only a few lines in, but is by far my favorite line. It is so true…I miss the little moments of silence. You all know what/who I am talking about. I once heard someone say they would lay awake and watch their spouse sleep in the middle of the night and realized how special that time was. You might ask but if you couldn’t sleep wouldn’t that bother you (especially if they are snoring). The response, “…no, it makes me happy to see him/her sleeping there so peacefully.” I have never thought about waking up next to someone quite the same after hearing that and I have to admit I miss those moments. Every time I hear that lyric it takes my breathe away. So don’t forget tonight to count your blessings and enjoy a little moment of silence. Sweet Dreams!

Well it had been a while since I blogged so I thought I would take a few seconds and catch you all up on the days of our Kate. Well good news…I am preapproved for a home loan. I have been busy talking to my realtor and the mortgage guy and all is great on the housing front. Now it is time to look. YAY! It is definitely an exciting time in life and I will be sure to you all updated. Well I am off to look at some listings and make my list of potential homes. More to come later!

PS-Andrew left for the westside today. I miss him like crazy but I know he will do great and I hope he finds what he needs. Can’t wait to go for a visit or have him back for a weekend.

So the last few days have been rough for me. I am trying to discover my purpose and reflecting on life’s little lessons. I know I am only 22 but there are a few things I have learned and I just thought I would share my thoughts and see what you all have to offer back.

1. Can money buy you happiness? Well maybe if it is the lottery, but with my time and small amount of money I can’t say that it does much good. Take my trip to the mall for instance. I specifically transfered money into my checking account this morning to go shopping and buy myself a few things. What did I come away with? Nothing. Well I did get my oil changed and a new typography book, but no clothes or shoes, how lame is that. Also, I have come to find that with my entry level design job after all my bill are paid I still have a little to put in the bank. Now I am not living the ritzy life by any means, but there isn’t much out there I would like to buy. Like I have blogged before I am considering buying a condo, which would be a good investment rather than renting. I would love to have a house, even if it is a condo, that I can call my own and paint the walls. But with all this mulling around in my head I have come to the realization that the people and relationships in my life are what make life so wonderful. Losing my best friend to the westside and now Andrew I have come to see that enjoying the moments you spend with special people in your life are what make this all worth it. I am a need to be needed person and I know it. I love being able to the little things for other people that just make life a little better. Now I don’t mean going over the top and just spending money to spend it, but having a nice dinner ready for that special someone after a long day or a surprise gift or visit is always great. I missing having these two special people close at hand. I guess I will just have to make the trek over to the westside a little more often.

2. Is is better to have loved and lost or to have never have loved at all? This one is tough. I am going to go with loved and lost. I have had my share of heartache and some days I would say that to have never have loved would be way easier, but I still treasure those moments deep in my heart. We are all human and the connections we share with others a what makes life bearable. So there is a little more to this story than you might know. Some of you know my life story and guys I have dated while others might not know my whole background. Well, my freshman year at college I dated Scott, the super-senior drama director that stole my heart. He was my first true love and will always hold a special place in my heart. I lived in a bubble of happiness for about a year and a half with him. We moved into an apartment together after a year and I thought I had it all. Unfortunately things turned upside down. We went our separate ways, heartbroken and crush I was left to pick up the pieces. Three years later we are good friends and I have learned a lot from that relationship and time in my life. One was not to go all in. Well, I had done rather well with that until just recently. I also said I would move in with a guy until there was a ring on my finger. I stuck those standards with Peter and Brady and while my heart suffered a little over those breakups, it didn’t get annihilated. Then along came Andrew. So, Andrew and I had been good friends for quite sometime now and I had always had a crush on him. While we both dated other people when the time finally arose to date each other we both jumped right in. And it was great…every last moment of it. And of course we both wish we could still enjoy our time together life has other plans. So back to the story. Andrew broke all the rules I had set for myself and I learned why. He moved in with me and I went all in. I was so happy and living in my bubble again. The love that I thought I would never feel again, I found it with Andrew. While it only lasted less than two months, it gave me hope of finding it again. I wish it was with Andrew and who knows maybe in the future it will be. As hard as it is to get over someone those few months or years of being together make it all work it. Someday it will be for ever, for now I will hold on to hope and keep missing Andrew. Yes Andrew I still miss you and I still love you, but I know I can’t change the situation. I also know I can’t change what my heart thinks either.

Well I think that is all I have to share on life’s little lessons for now. More to come one day when I figure some more of them out.

Always remember no regrets, love as if you’ve never been hurt, and you can’t take it with you.

Katie Lou

It’s been a little bit since I have sat down and blogged. So I thought I would catch you all up on life as of today. Well, last week was crazy busy. Shawn, Zipline’s Creative Director, was on vacation for the week, this meant it was a sole designer. While it was tons of fun and still love every moment at work…I am exhausted. I got tons done but it will be nice to Shawn back next week.

As for life outside of work. Well it goes. That is about all I can say. Living the single life again and trying to figure out what I want out of this crazy thing called life. I have begun to think about buying a condo. I figure that there is no reason to keep renting when a condo could be a great investment and only a little more for my monthly payment. So if anyone has tips for first time home buyers I would love to hear them!

As for Andrew. Well he is off to the westside to find himself. He didn’t get the symphony job and instead was offered a position back home. I wish him the best. We aren’t on the greatest terms and it kills me to be pushed out of him life, but I have to let him do this. I don’t like it and it isn’t what I want, but I have come to the conclusion that I can’t change it. I am trying to find the positives in this whole situation and I can’t always find it. Keep us both in your prayers, we need it. I guess what it really comes down to is that I really care about him. I miss him so much and more than just having the boyfriend there. While it is hard to go back to the single life, it kills me more to have lost a friend. Gosh just writing this makes me tear up. I really do want the best for him and I know that is what this is. I am trying to not be over involved and let him come to me. It is killing me inside. I wish sometimes I didn’t care so much , but that is who I am. So Andrew if you are reading this I am always here for you. I care so much and I know it may be over whelming some days, but I do mean well. Wishing you the best and that you will find the sunshine in your life.

Well I think that wraps it up for now. Living life and learning how it all might turn out. Just taking it one day at a time and trying to keep a smile on my face. More to come later, I will keep you all posted on life as I know it.

It is Wednesday evening and after a busy day at work I am sitting on my patio enjoying the amazing weather. Finished up one of my ongoing, never-ending projects today! YAY! It feels good to be done with it and I am ready to battle the next one. The week in general is panning out ok. I have my moments some up and some down, but I can’t complain. Life wouldn’t be life without them. I have to thank all of you who have reached out to tell me it is going to be ok or that is will get better or just to remind me you are there for me when I need it the most. You all mean so much to me, I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

So one of my new found hobbies (if you could call it that), and aside from blogging, is….working out. Now who would have though. Me…love to work out…ok more of a love hate relationship, but after I drag myself over there I feel a million times better and it is a great way to get out some of the at extra anger and energy. So for the last three days I have been running, lifting weights and stretching every night. It is amazing what a little free time can do for you.

So I am sure some of you are wondering how I am doing with the whole Andrew situation. Well…not great, but getting better. I miss him like crazy and I wish there was a way to get through to him and make him understand that I want to be in this with him. I know he has to do this on his own, but it is hard to understand why he had to give up the one thing he said made him happy. He deserves the world and I hope that one day he will get it. He had an interview with the Spokane Symphony today and cross your finger (mine are) that he gets it. It isn’t a playing position, but I think if he got to be around the thing that brings him the most joy, it could really change his outlook on life. So say a prayer, send good thoughts, and cross your fingers and toes. This could be life changing for him. Wishing you the best handsome!

I don’t know that I have much more to report on or if I have even said a lot, maybe I just rambled. I do have to tell you that it fells nice to get it on paper.

Taking it one day at a time and living with no regrets!

Signing off for now…

Katie Lou

Well it is Monday morning and back to the beginning of a new work week. I have to say that I am looking forward to something to keep my mind occupied. I also will like getting some stuff accomplished and I always feel like I get stuff done at work. Hopefully this will be one of those productive weeks. Aside form that I hope to keep busy and my thoughts on the positive aspects I have going for me in life. I am trying not to think about the last week and the sadness that is hanging in my heart. I know it is normal and all I can say is a miss him a lot. He means so much to me an I feel like I am losing him. I hope that it is only a short time. Keep us in your thoughts once again.

Well off to work and a fresh start…I hope this one is better than the last.

Katie Lou

So once again I am sitting at home on a Sunday night by myself. Well it isn’t the first time and I doubt it will be the last. Life has a way of throwing you some curve balls and this last week has had its far share. I am by no means an expert to how this thing called life is suppose to work and I doubt most people are, but I do believe it doesn’t hand you more than you can handle. I might have been pushed to the limit this last week, but again with doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

As most of you know I have been seeing Andrew for a little over a month and I couldn’t have been happier. He had been a great friend through the years and being his ’sunshine’ was such a blessing. For now we aren’t together as there are some things that Andrew needs to figure out in his life before we can be us again. I just want to take this time to say I may be sad and miss him terribly and even be really upset about the situation now and again, but I have no hard feeling towards him and I hope you all will do the same. He is an amazing guy, musician, friend, boyfriend, bother, son and person. I hold him very close in my heart and right now he needs happy thoughts being sent his way. This is a hard time for both of us, but with some time and reflection it will make us both stronger people and hopefully in the end strength our relationship. I love him and at this time I have to love him enough to let him go.

So with all that said I guess it is my time to really reflect on myself and where I am in life. I ask for everyone’s help through this time in my life. Sometimes I just lose my way and need that extra nudge to remind me that life has some really beautiful moments too. I am so lucky to have wonderful friends and family who are always there for me. Also, as a recent graduate I am so blessed to have a job in my career field and loving every minute of it. To my coworkers I am so blessed to have you guys and you truly make coming to work everyday a joy. Thanks for all the laughs and good times and to many more to come. Another thing to be happy for is the fact that I have a wonderful one bedroom apartment that I can afford and call home, that in its self is a major feat.

More to come on all this but for now just keep me in your thoughts and Andrew too! We both need it. And in my low moments remind me of some of the great things I have going for me and the bright sunshining future I have ahead.

Never forget…no regrets!

Yours truly,

Katie Lou