Days of our Kate

So the last few days have been rough for me. I am trying to discover my purpose and reflecting on life’s little lessons. I know I am only 22 but there are a few things I have learned and I just thought I would share my thoughts and see what you all have to offer back.

1. Can money buy you happiness? Well maybe if it is the lottery, but with my time and small amount of money I can’t say that it does much good. Take my trip to the mall for instance. I specifically transfered money into my checking account this morning to go shopping and buy myself a few things. What did I come away with? Nothing. Well I did get my oil changed and a new typography book, but no clothes or shoes, how lame is that. Also, I have come to find that with my entry level design job after all my bill are paid I still have a little to put in the bank. Now I am not living the ritzy life by any means, but there isn’t much out there I would like to buy. Like I have blogged before I am considering buying a condo, which would be a good investment rather than renting. I would love to have a house, even if it is a condo, that I can call my own and paint the walls. But with all this mulling around in my head I have come to the realization that the people and relationships in my life are what make life so wonderful. Losing my best friend to the westside and now Andrew I have come to see that enjoying the moments you spend with special people in your life are what make this all worth it. I am a need to be needed person and I know it. I love being able to the little things for other people that just make life a little better. Now I don’t mean going over the top and just spending money to spend it, but having a nice dinner ready for that special someone after a long day or a surprise gift or visit is always great. I missing having these two special people close at hand. I guess I will just have to make the trek over to the westside a little more often.

2. Is is better to have loved and lost or to have never have loved at all? This one is tough. I am going to go with loved and lost. I have had my share of heartache and some days I would say that to have never have loved would be way easier, but I still treasure those moments deep in my heart. We are all human and the connections we share with others a what makes life bearable. So there is a little more to this story than you might know. Some of you know my life story and guys I have dated while others might not know my whole background. Well, my freshman year at college I dated Scott, the super-senior drama director that stole my heart. He was my first true love and will always hold a special place in my heart. I lived in a bubble of happiness for about a year and a half with him. We moved into an apartment together after a year and I thought I had it all. Unfortunately things turned upside down. We went our separate ways, heartbroken and crush I was left to pick up the pieces. Three years later we are good friends and I have learned a lot from that relationship and time in my life. One was not to go all in. Well, I had done rather well with that until just recently. I also said I would move in with a guy until there was a ring on my finger. I stuck those standards with Peter and Brady and while my heart suffered a little over those breakups, it didn’t get annihilated. Then along came Andrew. So, Andrew and I had been good friends for quite sometime now and I had always had a crush on him. While we both dated other people when the time finally arose to date each other we both jumped right in. And it was great…every last moment of it. And of course we both wish we could still enjoy our time together life has other plans. So back to the story. Andrew broke all the rules I had set for myself and I learned why. He moved in with me and I went all in. I was so happy and living in my bubble again. The love that I thought I would never feel again, I found it with Andrew. While it only lasted less than two months, it gave me hope of finding it again. I wish it was with Andrew and who knows maybe in the future it will be. As hard as it is to get over someone those few months or years of being together make it all work it. Someday it will be for ever, for now I will hold on to hope and keep missing Andrew. Yes Andrew I still miss you and I still love you, but I know I can’t change the situation. I also know I can’t change what my heart thinks either.

Well I think that is all I have to share on life’s little lessons for now. More to come one day when I figure some more of them out.

Always remember no regrets, love as if you’ve never been hurt, and you can’t take it with you.

Katie Lou